If people still read my blog, I have the sad news to say that my mom lost her battle with cancer and passed away on July 13th, 2009. She was 47, and I haven't had the heart to blog or talk to many people about it (outside my personal circle). I've received many cards from friends and family, and friends of my mom's...but I'm doing okay at the moment. It's just hard in general...losing my mom. Fall semester of college begins on August 31st, and I hope I can do it.
Sure, I must admit that I knew it was coming from a human standpoint...Michael was a human, 50 years old, and we all are going to die someday. It's just that, I, like so many millions of people, have grown up listening to his music that we just assumed that he would be there until he was 70 or 80..moonwalking with a walker or outbeating Madonna on which can release the most music before turning 80.
I grew up on the King at the tender age of either 6 or 7 years old, it was 1994. I remember seeing his tours on television and asked my parents "Who's that on TV?" my parents told me that it was Michael Jackson, the king of pop. I got into him heavily shortly thereafter, when I found Moonwalker (the movie) on TV...and loved Smooth Criminal and Dirty Diana instantly. I was very afraid of "Leave Me Alone"...I never liked the teeth in the middle of the video. I was born in 1987, the album Bad had been released...and he had reached his pinnacle with Thriller. I went into a heavy Michael Jackson phase when I was 7, and my parents got me "Off the wall" as a CD while my dad had Thriller as a vinyl. As I aged, I still loved Michael Jackson but unlike other artists...his release periods were very sporatic...and the last time I had owned during my early teens was "Dangerous". I always liked his music...even as my tastes began to mature and change. I re-discovered Michael when he released "Invincible" and I was very pleased with the record. Unforuntately, the perception of the album wasn't great.
As I sit here in my room at the age of 22, no longer 7 or 6, I feel I was gone back in time to the early 90s...where Michael Jackson's music, videos, and aura was everywhere. It is sad to hear and say that Michael Jackson is gone, but the music he made makes the death not as painful. Sure, Michael is not related to me...I considered him the godfather of the music business. He had a musical legacy like Freddie Mercury, Sting, Elvis Presley, John Lennon, and my family's favorite...Frank Sinatra. Although my musical tastes have spanned from 80s new wave, britpop, soul, R&B, funk, jazz, rock, classical, and asian pop music...Michael's music wasn't too far behind. You can hear his influnence in everything today, I think I hear it the most in Japanese music. The lyrics are very expressive and the melodies are layered and intricate. Listening to his music makes me remember good memories of my childhood, when my parents were still together...when my loved ones hadn't died. Regardless of what is said or what will be learned from toxicology reports and autopsies, I am proud to have been born in a world where I heard his music because...without his music...music doesn't feel right and has lost its center -- its true balance.
Interpersonal Communications - B-
Shakespeare II - B
Wit and Wisdom - B
American Theater - B+
Creative Writing - B+
GPA - 3.060
If I must say, what is up with the pluses and minuses with the letter grades? anyone else find that odd...in college?
This post will be more about cancer since my grades haven't arrived in the mail, I took my finals in the first week of May and CHC (Chestnut Hill College) is a very large school...so I figured they handle things differently. I would go online to check for a few classes, but some of my classes can't be checked online...because one of my teachers (who had for 3 classes) was a older woman who wasn't computer-savy. I know I paid and finished off my balance, so I hope it'll come soon.
My mother's health has gotten worse this week, she collasped in her room's shower (she's in the hospital) and collasped. She was on a respirator and feeding tube, and heavily sedated. On Saturday night into Sunday morning, her lungs were failing and she had gotten a blood infection...and she had a fever. The doctor called the family down to discuss the best route for my mother, if she should be let go = allowed to pass away. Apparently, since my mother is no longer married....I am her power of attorney, meaning I make the heaviest decisions...even deciding whether mother should be allowed to be on life support or let her gradually slip away and die. I told my family that I wanted the decision to be okay with all, since I didn't want my family to go through battles like Terry Schiavo.
I told them to let her get more aid, more medicine, more drugs...and the doctors did what I asked. Currently, she's still on the respirator and feeding tube...she's more awake now. She keeps trying to take the feeding tube out, but we trying to tell her that she needs it in to get fluid out of her lungs. Her lungs were filled with blood earlier...Bascially, if mother does get out of the hospital...we're going to take her to John's Hopkin's Hospital in Baltimore...regardless of the money and what she says. As far as I'm concnerned, she gave up control when she fucked up like that in the shower.
As much as I love her, I truly wonder what the hell she's thinking most of the time...I think she can tell by my face that I'm there for her...but I'm really upset with her stubborness at this stage of her cancer. She's at stage 3...there is no stage 4. My father, eldest aunt and her husband are going to take a few weeks or so...to decide what will happen to me regardless of what happens to my mother. I live with my grandparents (her parents) and I'm contemplating moving out if things go bad (if Mother does happen to die with complications or her own stupidity by doing something else she shouldn't have done). As much as I love grandma, there's a lack of communication on how to handle mother. If anything, I want mother to put things in writing.
Hey guys, I've had a rough early May. Mom's cancer has gotten worse in recent days, and I just survived finals last week...barely. So far, I'm doing okay....I'm holding my own whilst everything else is going crazy.
Hey guys, its been 3 weeks since I've talked to you guys last....how are you? Are you feeling well?
I'm not feeling very well at all, things aren't going great. Since I last talked to you, mom was in the hospital and she's been in-and-out of the hospital 4 times already with low platelets and her blood count is constantly down causing her to return to the hospital every 3 days. She says she's getting better but each time her tumors on her body, she has them everywhere...begin to bleed out and she has to return to the hospital. It's a constant trip to the hospital downtown and returning her home, it's very hard to deal with. Furthermore, I'm having to do a lot of things on my own concerning my education, I have to do my FAFSA on my own (without her taxes and W-2, luckily, she's filing an extension for her taxes with the IRS). FAFSA is due on May 1st, which somewhat slipped my mind with mom in the hospital and me taking care of 5 courses. Finals are in the first week of May, and since finals are in may...I can't attend my graduation for Manor college, they're conflcting. I'm literally backed into a corner...with very minute options.
To make it worse, I have to register for courses and I'm decided to change my major from English to English/Communications. There's a slight problem, my advisor is very pushy and very inconsiderate for others. I had to cancel an appointment due to an emergency situation, I had to get my blood drawn for my mom and sent it to down to John Hopkin's Hospital/University. I did it though, and we'll get the results in 2 weeks. I sincerely hope I am the match. But back to the advisor, she's also a senor seminar person...meaning all the seniors do a large thesis before they graduate (like 20 pages) and she's suppossed bogged down with the seniors...graduation is in two weeks. She's trying not to deal with students who need classes for next semester. Futhermore, they're making everyone register for classes online but the program itself has been experiencing problems....
I have come to a realization, if this woman causes more trouble for me trying to register...I'm going to tell her my situation and why I need her to work with me a little bit. This cancer of my mom's has gotten extremely aggressive in the past two months, so I need to see what I can do. If she causes more issues, I'm going to consult with someone else...I have very little time to be dealing with this since there's a good chance that if I'm the match...I'll be away for 2 months in Maryland. Either way, I'm backed into a corner... I hope I make it through the deadlines...and perform well with my finals. Pray for me, will you?
Today is "No Housework Day." Tell us: What's your least favorite chore around the house?
I hate cleaning my room....and I don't like to clean the tub. HATE IT!
it's been a long time....I didn't die or anything.
I have so much to update so I'll do it in bullet style...
- Drunk driver crashed in one of cars in front of the house, the BMW is totaled on one side...
- Mom's in the hospital, she's officially anemic
- Grandpa's got his pacemaker
- I paid off my tuition for this semester, all 12,000 dollars worth.
- I get an award from Manor College (former college) Last Friday
- Easter Break is this week....
Despite everything, apparently I'm still being considered for my mom's bone marrow and T-cell donor. They feel that I'm going to match, because I'm her daughter and she's my mum. There's a chance that this might not work, because my bone marrow might overtake hers. I'm still in the process of trying to see what I'll need to do for the procedure. If it comes down to me, we'll have to leave home and live in residental housing for 2 months at John's Hopkins hospital in Baltimore.
Mom was in the hospital since last week, and she should be home today...or something.
Online Release Date: February 13th or 12th, 2009
Overall, this album sounds good...from the previews I found on youtube. Happy 10th anniversary, FTTS!
(From YESASIA) Marking the 10th anniversary of their remarkable career, Fly to the Sky releases their 8th album appropriately entitled Decennium. As always, the boys do what they do best – offering the best of both worlds in musical artistry and mainstream trends. But this time, they boldly take one step further to present an album distinctively different from their usual style, thanks largely to many colorful contributors like Dynamic Duo and Gary of LeeSsang who pitched in their hip-hop flair for tracks like Close to you (Track 3) and Jeul geo chat gi ("Hiding Game" – Track 7) respectively. Other participants in the album include Brown Eyed Soul and Wanted.
Renowned composer Cho Young Soo collaborates with Fly to the Sky for the first time in the album's principle track Goo sok ("Possessiveness" – Track 2), a jazzy R&B ballad. Backed by string instrumentation, the song is highlighted by the enchanting harmony of Brian and Fany's vocals.
Tracklist:
01 . Decennium
02 . 구속 (Arrest)
03 . Close to you (feat. Dynamic Duo)
04 . 가버려 너 (Just Go, You)
05 . Good girl
06 . Song for you
07 . 즐겨 찾기 Favorites (feat. 리쌍 게리)
08 . 술 (Alcohol)
09 . 마지막 기도 (Last Prayer)
10 . 사랑이겠지 (It Might Be Love / Probably Love)
11 . 눈물아 미안해 (Im Sorry, Tears)
12 . 온음표 (Whole Note)
President-elect Barack Obama is being sworn into office today. Where are you watching the events of this historic day unfold?
I was at my college, watching it on a huge jumbotron (meaning large TV)...it was cool. God Bless, Obama!
